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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Being True To Yourself - Pondering Of A Mountain Man

Now is that time of year that we make "resolutions" which may be realistic and some not so much. We will resolve to quit smoking, diet to lose weight, be a nicer person, remove the clutter from our lives and so forth. But what about our selves and how we feel about ourselves? Do we give these elements of our life consideration or do we just focus on those items that are mostly external?

I suggest that now is a good time to do some real self evaluation and be honest with how we not only deal with others but how we deal with ourselves. What about those who look at us, smile, and lie right to our face while thinking we are too stupid to realize we are being lied to? Or what about the person who cajoles us one minute and is acting to assassinate us behind our backs? Or what about the bully who at every turn we make tries to intimidate us?

Wouldn't each of these be worthy to evaluate and how we deal with them or avoid dealing with them and how they effect us?  When we are attacked by liars, character destroyers or bullies do we say nothing when we know we should have addressed these false reports against us? Do we withdraw and feel bad about ourselves? Shouldn't we be true to ourselves and approach these areas with realistic methods?

We live in a small community that has its disproportional share of bullies, liars, and back stabbers. In fact our friend list is quite small and contains only those who are of proven character and integrity. As I pondered this topic I came to several conclusions. First even though you withdraw from such groups of people they do not withdraw from you. They find ways to continue to agitate and attack. They range from sneak attacks to direct frontal assaults.  Your silence and withdrawal does nothing but imply to them that you are weak and won't defend yourself and they strive all the harder to involve you against your wishes. Often I have held back to insure their safety.

I have found that you can be polite and non-threatening but that you need to stand up for yourself if you want to be content with who you are. One of my resolutions is to not be aggressive but firm in not being walked all over because of my good nature. I started today having reached my tolerance for those who want to punish you for unfounded machinations that occur only in their head or things they have made up just because they can.

Suddenly without notice our association decided to make it more difficult for us to get our road plowed from snow.  They make promises that they have no intention to fulfill hence ignoring and marginalizing you. If you object they make up stories about you and try their best to spread their lies among as many as possible. In short immature behavior. I sent a letter to our board of directors stating clearly that we were not going to tolerate further poor conduct by those who are being paid to serve our members. I laid the burden on the board and told them clearly, firmly but politely that I wanted to know what they are going to do to alleviate the poor conduct. I have learned that to remain silent only provokes those who are trying to intimidate and bully you.

That is one of my resolutions for 2016, and one I fully intend to maintain. Silence and withdrawal sometimes enables the wrong doers and if done with tact, well considered and presented I will feel much better and those who are the bullies will be drawn out. These are resolutions that may be more worthy than joining a gym or going on some radical diet. Be true to yourself! The pondering of a mountain man.....

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